Silly Potato — Home-Run Edition

Your cursor is gone. In its place: a chunky wooden baseball bat that follows your mouse (or your controller stick) like a very violent balloon. In front of you, on a tee, sits a potato. It has googly eyes. It has a little speech bubble that says "I am a potato." You have ten seconds. SMACK IT. Every hit stacks damage - 40%, 300%, 900%, and there is no cap. Chain your hits for a combo multiplier. Then hold the button to wind up a MEGA SWING, let go at full charge, and launch that spud so far into the sky it starts yelling about destiny. Distance in feet is your score. That's it. That's the leaderboard. Once it's airborne, the potato becomes a screaming yellow comet with opinions: "I HAVE BEEN CHOSEN", "WITNESS ME!!", "MOM GET THE CAMERA", "THE SKY TASTES BUTTERY" - over two dozen one-liners, hollered mid-arc. The sky is littered with randomly scattered coin clusters. Thread through them and they're yours. Miss them and think about your choices. Coins buy upgrades, upgrades buy more feet, more feet buy more coins. The loop closes with an audible click. Down on the ground, a distance sign every 100 feet keeps score with over sixty potato puns, because someone had to say SPUDNIK, taterhawk, get forked, holy mash!, and no gods no mashers out loud. - BATTLE (10 seconds) - Move the bat with your mouse or stick. Tap to smack and build damage %. Land the bat's very tip for a SWEET TIP. Keep the chain alive for a combo. - CHARGE - Hold to wind up. Cross 95% and the bat screams FULL POWER. Spend a SLOW-MO charge to bullet-time the wind-up if your nerves need help. - LAUNCH - Release. Launch between 25 and 55 degrees for a NICE ANGLE bonus. Whiff entirely and the bat whistles through empty air. Smack it backwards into the wall behind home plate and you earn a hearty WRONG WAY and a game over. - FLIGHT - Hands off. Watch it soar, bounce, glide, collect coins, and shout. - SPUD SHOP - Spend the loot. Come back angrier. - PRECISION - Longer bat reach. Hit the thing you meant to hit. - POWER - Swing harder. Bigger launch. - GLIDE - Aerodynamic spud. More hang time, more sky, more coins. - BOUNCE - Rubbery turf on landing. Boing. Boing. Boing. - COMBO - Rapid hits stack a fatter multiplier. - OVERTIME - +1 second on the clock per level. Ten seconds was never enough. - SLOW-MO - Consumable bullet-time charges for the wind-up. - Your mouse is the bat. No aiming reticle, no click-to-swing menu - one input, zero tutorial, instant understanding. - Uncapped damage. 1,500%+ is genuinely reachable. The potato is not okay. - A pure distance leaderboard. One number, in feet. A global Steam leaderboard plus your own personal top 5 runs with the damage you dealt on each. - 32 Steam achievements - from Chip City to Moon Mash (30,000 ft) to Wrong Way, Champ and Nailed To The Plate, for the player who let the whole clock run out and did absolutely nothing. - Runs last about 30 seconds. "One more" is not a marketing claim, it is a structural inevitability. - Controller support - stick-driven bat and full menu navigation on an Xbox-style pad. Typing a custom leaderboard name needs a keyboard; on Steam your persona name is used automatically. - Hand-drawn-look 2D, drawn entirely in code. Chunky ink outlines, sunset gradients, googly eyes with real blink timing. - Comfort options - screen-shake toggle, a flashing-FX toggle for photosensitivity (kills the launch flash and speed lines), separate master, SFX and music volume, windowed/borderless/fullscreen, vsync and FPS cap. - Runs on anything. Tiny download, no launcher, no account, no online requirement. There is a bat. There is a potato. There is the horizon, and the potato is going to meet it. "I am a potato." - the potato, moments before takeoff