Blame the Wind

"Read the wind. Blame the wind. Repeat." Blame the Wind is a turn-based artillery duel fought across a fully destructible city skyline — a love letter to the DOS-era classics, rebuilt to actually feel good. Two fighters, two rooftops, one gusting wind, and the slow-dawning horror that you set your power way too high. Set your angle, account for the wind, and lob something ridiculous at your rival. Miss, and you've got no one to blame but the breeze. Can't clear that skyscraper? Blow a hole straight through it. The skyline is built fresh every match, so no two duels ever start the same — and every shot reshapes the battlefield. Made to be clipped. Every match is built to produce a great ten-second moment — a wind-blown trick shot, a last-second comeback, a truly idiotic self-KO. Hit one button to export your best rally as a shareable GIF, straight to disk. Your highlight reel makes itself. Flip on the CRT mode. A hidden retro throwback swaps the whole game into a scanline-soaked, 16-colour look straight out of 1991. It's the "then vs now" money shot. Pure skill, zero nonsense. Every fighter plays identically. No pay-to-win, no unfair advantages, no meta to memorise. Just you, the angle, the power, and the wind. Collect a cast of gloriously silly fighters. Unlock 16 characters — a grudge-holding gorilla, a duck who thinks he's an admiral, a business pigeon with a briefcase, a goth toaster that fires scalding regret — by playing and doing daft things. Earn Bananas each match and spend them on whoever makes you grin. No timed events, no fear of missing out, nobody ever locked out of anything. You just play. Grab a friend. Local hotseat for the person sitting right next to you — trash talk is a core mechanic — or take on a CPU that aims like a human, not a cheater. (Online multiplayer is in active development.) Five minutes or fifty. Boot it up, lob some bananas, drop it when you're done. It respects your time. It isn't work - It's just fun. Features - Turn-based artillery — easy to learn, impossible to blame the wind for - Procedural, fully destructible city skylines — every shot reshapes the board - One-button GIF export — turn your best shot into a shareable clip instantly - Hidden CRT / retro mode — the full scanline-soaked throwback - 16 unlockable fighters (with more over time), all cosmetic, all daft - Local hotseat + single-player vs a human-like CPU - Online multiplayer in active development - Earn-only Bananas — no real-money currency, no pay-to-win, no FOMO - Controller support for both players - Juice by the bucket: screenshake, chunky explosions, flying debris, KO slow-mo