Drunk Woodcutter

5 PM. After a rough day at the office, you're ready for some honest work. Your chopping block is waiting, and there's beer money to be made. So grab a drink, loosen up that axe-swinging arm, and settle into the simple satisfaction of splitting firewood. As long as you drink in moderation, you should be fine, right? Split logs. Sell firewood. Try to keep your knees out of it. Every piece that falls from the chopping block puts money in your pocket. The more precisely you split, the more pieces you can sell. Have a sip. What can go wrong? Firewood chopped under the influence sells for more. So trust your liver, push your luck, and drink for bigger profits. But go too far, and you'll end the day face-down in your backyard. From honest side hustle to workplace incident. You start out with a rusty axe and a few logs of cheap pine. Before long, you’ll be earning bigger profits, unlocking harder wood, building up your chopping arm, buying stronger drinks, and wielding equipment no workplace safety inspector would approve of. Sometimes you don’t want to unwind. If it's not relaxation but pent-up rage you're bringing home from work, Time Trials turn the backyard into a frantic race against the clock. Split fast, chain sales into ridiculous combos, and wring every last dollar from a fixed combination of wood, booze, and tools for a place on the leaderboard. The main progression is a compact 40-60 minute experience designed to be finished in one sitting. Time Trials are where you can return to sharpen your skills, chase bigger numbers, and climb the leaderboards.