Normal Human Jobs

Congratulations! You've been selected to be CEO! The business card says all you have to do is complete eight regular human jobs in one office building. Sweep a floor, sort some mail, plug in a few cables, that kind of thing. Finish the last one and the corner office is yours. The card doesn't say anything about the robots, or that the whole thing is an experiment and you're what's being measured. But honestly who reads the back of a business card? The Building has eight floors - each one is a different department with a different chore. You sweep the lobby. You sort mail into pneumatic tubes. You cap coffee leaks in the break room, drag cables through an evolving server maze, and stamp HR forms so they don't bite back. Each department has its own enemies and its own department head, and the department head wants to review your performance personally before you're allowed upstairs. None of the chores are hard and you're providing invaluable data on workplace safety and efficiency. Every floor has its own skill tree. Somewhere around 140 upgrades total, it got a little out of hand. Earn Performance Points by doing the work and spend them on speed, damage, movement, and a crew of helpers (a roomba, some letter fairies, an intern or two) who automate the chores so you can go deal with whatever's trying to get in your way. Dying doesn't set you back! The elevator sends you back to training with a severance check in hand. You can bank it, buy permanent benefits with it, and ride right back up! You keep every upgrade you've bought and nothing resets when you die. Once you make it to the top and sign the paperwork, you can run the whole building again with your perks still on, and challenge the leaderboards. Administration has provided a speedrun clock with splits per floor, Steam leaderboards, and achievements. Other candidates are out there doing the same eight jobs faster than you, and the leaderboard is how the robots pick the actual CEO. Full controller support and a bevy of accessibility settings (controller aim assist, screen shake amount & toggle, camera motion suppression, UI scaling.) Eight easy, normal human jobs. Welcome to the team, the robots are taking notes.